Boogers- (Slang) Dried nasal mucus.

JOYRIDES AND LAST RITES ON DELHI ROADS.

Every Great city in the world worth its name have their own trademark transport system with which they are identified with. San Fransisco has its cable cars(Trams), New York its fabled Cabs(and drivers), London has the 'Tube', Tokyo its sleek Bullet trains and Even Mumbai has its overcrowded Local Train Network.
Now Delhi, i am proud to report,has not one,but a series of transport system which can truely be associated only with Delhi, on the nature of the adrenaline packed sagas surrounding them. Let’s take a look at two of the more famous ones.
The first that comes to mind is the STA Buses. They may not be air conditioned, but they condition the Delhi air with a sense of unflagging exicitement. You never get bored riding them. One minute you’re drowzily sitting in the seat, then the Bus suddenly accelerates and you find yourself part of a Formula 1 race between two buses where one is trying to get ahead of the other in the clogged Delhi roads, all in the interest of the ‘people’ who are eagerly waiting for transport at the Bus stands; and not, I repeat, not because of their greed for grabbing more passengers than their rivals. Even while holding on to dear life by grabbing the seat rails, you can't help but marvel at the driver's skills and his self confidence, considering that the lives of a 101 people in the bus are in his hands.
With the number of people who get hit by these buses each year, one also gets the impression that perhaps they are playing a year round game in which they get points for every person they hit (Hey Suresh, i just got another one. That makes it 21 this year. Do i get a bonus point? ).
The second are the Auto walas, masters of the sacred art of manic driving. These honourable men, like ancient secret organisations, live by a secret code, which says that none among them should succumb to the materialistic ways of the world by following transient, man-made laws like traffic rules or human psyche induced ‘morals’. They shamelessly fleece customers (Hey, they also have a family to feed, you know!), run every red light, and make faces at ‘no U-Turn’ signals.
Besides religiously following the "no-following-of-any-rules" mantra, they possess driving skills that would make Michael schumacher cringe in shame. They can drive with one hand while the other is busy scratching some *&^%$#@ body part, and can squeeze in through the tiniest space between other vehicles. And when there is no space, they create one by inadvertently honking and swearing in abandon.(It has been scientifically proven that an excess of honking and swearing creates a ripple or wobble effect in the fabric of space breaking up the constituent matter particles creating extra space the size of an autorickshaw). They screech and swerve through traffic with the speed and urgency of a guy running towards the bathroom after holding back a full bladder for four hours in a Seminar. (I want to remind the readers that all this is in the interest of the passengers, whome the Auto driver wants to deliver at the designated place at the earliest- living, dead,or with one arm missing. )
With such dedicated professionals at your service, I recommend everyone should tarvel in Buses or Autos instead of wasting fuel in private cars or wasting money on roller-coaster rides .
Only one advice, please perform your last rites before boarding them.